


Shopping is Hard

by whitchry9



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, Episode Tag, Fluff, Gen, Humour, Missing Scene, but he gets out of it, cause that's how he rolls, lots of caps, matt just mainly yells at claire and panics, maybe gets a little bit arrested
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4182165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitchry9/pseuds/whitchry9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt told Claire he'd get her clothes. This is what happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shopping is Hard

**Author's Note:**

> http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/1742.html?thread=3949774#cmt3949774

“Claire, I need to feel you up. For science. Also to get clothes in the right size.”

“Can't you use the world on fire thing?”

“I'm still blind, Claire.”

“I can tell you what size I am.”

“How am I supposed to read them?”

“Oh, and what, feeling up the clothes works?”

“Um, yeah, it does.”

“Fine, whatever. Get it over with, and we're never talking about this again.”

 

* * *

 

“WHY ARE BRAS SO EXPENSIVE CLAIRE? THEY DON'T EVEN FEEL THAT COMFORTABLE. I THINK IF I HAD TO WEAR THIS ALL DAY I WOULD DIE. THEY COST SO MUCH AND THEY HURT YOU. THIS HAS TO BE SOME SORT OF TORTURE DEVICE. CLAIRE, STOP LAUGHING AT ME. YES, I KNOW I'M FEELING UP ALL THE BRAS IN THE LINGERIE SECTION BUT PLEASE, I THINK SOME SECURITY PEOPLE ARE COMING. CLAIRE, JUST TELL ME WHAT ONE TO BUY.”

 

* * *

 

"CLAIRE, I MADE IT OUT OF THE LINGERIE SECTION, BUT HONESTLY, HOW DO YOU FIND CLOTHES. THEY SAY THEY ARE THE SAME SIZE BUT THEY ARE NOT. THIS 7 IS LIKE THIS 5 WHICH IS LIKE THIS 00. WHAT IS A 00? HOW CAN THAT BE A THING. WHERE ARE THE MEASUREMENTS FOR YOUR LEGS? DO THEY ASSUME ALL WOMEN HAVE THE SAME LEG LENGTH? WHY ARE TANKS SO EXPENSIVE. THEY ARE LITERALLY NO FABRIC. THE MEN'S ONES ARE CHEAPER AND THEY ARE MORE FABRIC. CLAIRE, CLAIRE STOP LAUGHING I'M GOING TO CRY. I GOT SOCKS. YOU'LL HAVE SOCKS, BUT NOTHING ELSE. CLAIRE. THIS IS TOO HARD. CLAIRE, PLEASE."

 

* * *

 

“Matt, you brought me back three packages of socks, a package of men's tank tops, which, even as a small, are too big, only two pairs of underwear, a Captain America t-shirt, also men's and way too big, and a pair of jeans that fit perfectly. Oh, and three bras. Which also fit perfectly. What happened?”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

 

* * *

 

“Matt, these bras are gorgeous, super soft, and fit perfectly. This must have cost a fortune. How much do I owe you?”

“Eh, you can pay me in stitches. I'd much rather have them than money. Money can't buy medical care like yours.”

“Well, actually it can, but you can't afford it.”

“... can you please put a shirt on, you're making me uncomfortable.”

“BUT IT'S SO NICE AND I JUST WANT TO SHOW IT OFF.”

“CLAIRE PLEASE IT BURNS WORSE THAN CHEMICALS.”

“Murdock, you're a fucking drama queen.”

“... thank you.”

“I'm taking my shirt off when you're not here.”

“I think that's the first time someone has ever said that to me.”


End file.
